Ludacris/Rilo Kiley, "Money Making Money Maker That Makes Money"

originally on, Patrol Mag

When I informed a nameless individual of Hispanic descent that this song had been on repeat in my room, I got one response,

“Dude, you’re gay.”

Insensitive and offensive comments aside, while I think I understand what attracts me sexually, I’m still cataloguing those musical combinations which will ensnare my ear drum on multiple occasions.

This song illustrates an ongoing love in my life for sexually explicit, normally offensive rap set to addictive pseudo-indie pop anthems. Whether it’s Girl Talk dropping Biggie over “Tiny Dancer,” or A-Trak laying Kanye on top of “Heartbeats,” melody allows the chance for transcendence.

I’m not going to lie; I’m not the biggest rap fan. The Notorious B.I.G. uncensored almost made me vomit, Akon makes me long for deafness, and 50 Cent just makes me laugh. Rap shouldn’t be written off the artistic spectrum, and even in its lowest depths of depravity, there’s still just a glimmer of beauty.

Like when mash-up legends, The Hood Internet throw Rilo Kiley’s Moneymaker with its rap counterpart, courtesy of Ludacris. It took me one listen to realize that it would be hard for a song to top this one for blatant sexuality, but I still clicked repeat. That flirtatious little bass line from “Under the Blacklight” slides underneath lyrical pornography such as, “Let me give you some swimming lessons on the _____/ Backstroke, breaststroke, stroke of a genius,” and you can’t help but turn the volume up.

But just when my ears started to feel completely warped, Jenny Lewis’s PG-13 rated seduction bounces in, and you’ve returned from full-on perversion to side-show titillation.

You probably shouldn’t listen to this song. It will probably encourage horrible tendencies in your morality and artistic appreciation that will worsen your moral character and encourage the downward slide of American culture and society.

You probably really want to listen to it though,
Moneymaker